


Shot Through The Heart

by ficwriter2003



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015), supercorp - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Complete, Drama, F/F, Friendship, Gen, Heartbreak, Humor, Kara Danvers - Freeform, Lena Luthor - Freeform, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Love, Post 4x22, Truth, supergirl - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-15 19:52:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19302676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficwriter2003/pseuds/ficwriter2003
Summary: Picks up shortly after the Season 4 finale. My take on the fallout, in which Lena accidentally shoots Kara at the worst possible time... as if there's ever a good time to shoot your best friend.





	Shot Through The Heart

Stained hands tremble in front of her as she stares at faded carmine.

She wonders how she got here. Sitting in a hospital hallway, deep circles under empty eyes. She barely swallows, and her mouth is dry. So dry…

And she can’t form words when Alex storms up to her.

“What happened?!” she demands.

“Lena!” barks down at her.

Her voice simply echoes in her ears as she looks up to meet Alex’s desperate, angry eyes -

“What the hell happened?!”

And that’s the question isn’t it.

What happened…?

——-

HOURS EARLIER

Lena had been fuming for days. Avoiding her calls. Dodging her presence at the office by having her assistant tell her she was in a meeting. Six times. And seeing her name pop up on her texts made her physically ill.

Betrayed would be an understatement for how she felt. There weren’t enough words in the dictionary to describe just how hurt and angry and humiliated she was.

She’d opened up to Kara. Bore her soul to her in ways she’d never done with anyone. Ever. Lena cared about Kara more than anybody in this world, or beyond. She’d put her trust in her. She’d trusted her heart with her.

Because for so long, Kara was… goodness. Joy. Comfort. Love. Previously, any words to describe a friend who was family - and more - would be fitting for Kara Danvers.

But now?

Liar. Manipulator. Cruel.

Lena couldn’t stop drinking. She honestly wasn’t sure if it was calming her rage or fueling it. All she knew was that it made the pain just a little bit less.

This particular night, Lena cleans her office as if there isn’t a crew responsible for the task. She finds herself inexplicably wiping down her desk and chairs and couch with bleach cloths, as if trying to remove the memory of Kara from every inch of her space.

She searches her cabinets for anything that reminds her of Kara, intending to throw it in the garbage - or maybe even set it on fire. She’d already deleted the photos from her phone. But she discovers nothing in her office. She realizes she has no belongings that trigger memories of Kara. There was some irony to that. Something comforting because without anything tangible to remind her of Kara, perhaps the role she played in her life could more easily cease to exist.

The problem however, is that Kara herself was the gift. She was strong and kind and -  
Lena slams a drawer shut to block it out.

Kara Danvers isn’t real, she reminds herself, briefly wondering if that’s even her real name. But she doesn’t care. Or so she tells herself in her drunken state.

Lena opens another drawer. Freezes.

She slowly lifts the gun in her hand. It feels heavier tonight than it ever has before.

A slow and unusually wet blink blurs the image of it in her hand.

Her eyes pop back open when Kara bursts through her door. It’s after hours so there’s no apologetic assistant on her tail this time.

“Lena?” she asks, hurriedly.

She stops at the sight of her. The state of her. She hasn’t yet noticed the gun on her desk, too focused on finally just seeing her best friend.

“Lena. Finally.” she exhales in relief, stomping closer.

“I’ve been calling and coming by. I’ve been worried about you. Is everything okay?”

And there’s that smile. It’s tentative as she’s obviously concerned, but it’s still warm and familiar and for a moment Lena’s almost comforted at the sight of it. Then the memories flood back of the night after she found out. Of Kara’s smile and laugh at game night. All lies. All pretend.

She’d mastered this quirky, innocent act so well that Lena almost couldn’t believe the audacity of it.

But if Kara could pretend, so could she.

Lena stands and smiles, “Kara. Hi. I’m sorry. I’ve just been incredibly busy. Work comes first. I’m sure you can understand that better than anybody.”

It’s an odd statement. A subtle dig. Kara’s head tilts briefly, but she shakes it off.  
Then she grows a bit more serious.

“I know it’s late, but I’m glad I caught you. I’ve really needed to talk to you. I’ve wanted to talk to you.” Kara looks down, shifts awkwardly, adjusting her glasses in that way she always does that Lena used to find so endearing. But now she just finds laughable, since Kara could probably see a mile away. Literally. And through walls. And through her. She suddenly finds herself self conscious. Can she see through her clothes right now? Can she see her heat racing? Can she hear it?

“I’ve wanted to talk to you for a long time, actually…”

Lena’s not even listening, too busy asking herself a million questions, and glaring at those damn glasses. The glasses that mock her for being so stupid. Glasses that were the sole disguise that hid her truth for so long. Lena felt like such an idiot.

“Well like I said, I’ve been busy.”

It comes off more curt than she’d even like. She silently curses herself for having that fourth glass, as it’s threatening her facade.

“Are you - cleaning?” Kara asks suddenly, finally noticing her desk.

“I spilled something.”

“Oh…” Kara hesitates, finally noticing the gun on her desk. “Lena are you okay?”

Lena smirks. Can’t believe she’d ask her that. Because no, she’s not okay. She’s been broken into a million pieces and she hates Kara for it and moreso she hates herself for letting her.

“Yes. Of course.” she says with a forced smile. “I was just - cleaning that too.”

“Oh. Okay. That’s… okay. Because like I said, I need to talk to you.” Kara turns away, letting the gun thing and everything go, because she’s too focused on what she has to say. She turns halfway and gestures to the couch.

“Can we sit?”

She doesn’t wait for Lena to answer, she just goes and takes a seat.

Lena’s irked - as she’d just tried to rid it of Kara and now Kara’s back on it. But she hides it well. She swallows it down and walks around her desk. She takes a seat at the other end, putting as much space as possible between them.

She doesn’t look at Kara. She instead stares at the chess pieces on the table.  
A long beat, as Kara struggles - which Lena never sees.

“Lena -“

“Do you play chess?”

This throws Kara off guard.

“I’m sorry?”

Lena smirks at the irony of the words. Stays focused.

“I can’t believe I’ve never asked you before. I can’t believe we’ve never played. All the time we’ve spent on this couch…”

“Um, yeah no - I mean yes, I can play chess.”

“I bet you can. I bet you’re someone people underestimate. Unsuspecting Kara Danvers, who takes the queen in three moves.”

“I’m… not that good.”

“Aren’t you?” Lena finally looks over at her.

But by now Kara’s staring at her own hands, not noticing Lena’s accusatory tone. Trembling hands. She can’t recall ever seeing Kara tremble.

A deep pang of concern threatens to run through Lena, but she hardens in rebuke.

“Kara -“

“Lena, I’m sorry.”

Kara shifts, shoulders becoming firm, jaw setting now.

“I want you to know that, first and foremost. I’m sorry for not being honest a lot sooner. I’ve tried so hard to protect you, for so long."

Kara takes a breath, and tears form but none fall. She looks right at Lena now. Into her.

“I need you to know that it was never about not trusting you. Ever. I trust you completely, Lena. And that’s why I’m telling you this now. Even if you don’t believe me. Even if you hate me. If you never want to speak to me again.”

Lena realizes what’s happening. Some part of her is shocked and relieved, but the rest of her is even more angry and wanting to hold onto that anger and if she tells her now then how can Lena hate her -

“Lena.”

Kara turns her body to face her. She reaches for her glasses.

“Kara.” Lena grabs her hands to prevent it.

Kara thinks she’s just doing it to comfort her because of her somber, desperate mood.

“Lena.” she warns, pulling her hand away.

And as Lena shakes her head, hoping she won’t but also hoping she will -

Kara removes her damn glasses. And lets her incredible hair down.

And then she searches Lena’s eyes for recognition. But there’s no change in them. There’s only a stare filled with - hurt.

“Lena…?”

Lena feels sick. She pushes up and doesn’t look back as she walks towards her desk, stopping halfway and hanging her head with a shake.

“You - can’t even let me have my anger, can you?” she finally spits out, spinning around, tears in raging eyes.

“Lena -“

“I know, Kara. I know who you really are. What you really are.”

Kara’s shocked. Horrified. She swallows. Can’t form words.

She stands, unable to think or move beyond just that. It’s obvious she wants to ask how, when -

Lena just glares, sickened and reading her mind. “Lex told me. Before I killed him. My own brother. Because he was a threat. A threat to you.”

Lena seethes. Kara takes this punch to the gut. Sinks in defeat. This is obviously worse than Kara was prepared for, and clearly she was prepared for it to be pretty bad.

“Lena, I’m -“

“Sorry, yes you’ve said that.” she almost chuckles. But she’s certainly not humored.

“Lena -“ Kara starts, not even knowing what to say or where to go from here.

“Why now?” Lena finally blurts. The answer comes quick -

“Because lying to you was killing me, Lena. And more importantly it wasn’t fair to you.”

“Since when? You’ve been lying from the first moment I met you.”

“Because I didn’t know you, Lena! I don’t just go around telling everybody I meet that I’m -”

“Don’t. Don’t even say that name.”

This stings. Badly. But Kara nods, obeying. She obviously doesn’t want to hurt her any more than she already has. And her cooperation just drives Lena even crazier, as Kara continues.

“After we became friends, I thought about telling you. All the time. But you’re a Luthor, and -“

“There it is. The truth. For the first time.”

“You’re a Luthor and you’re already at risk, Lena. So many people already want to hurt you because of your family. Imagine if anyone found out you knew who S- who I was. I couldn’t put you at risk like that. That was why I didn’t tell you once we became friends. And then after that, the closer we got - the harder the idea of destroying what we had became. You, mean the world to me Lena.”

Lena turns away at this, closing the gap to her desk. And Kara steps closer, but still leaves space for the room she knows Lena needs, and again Lena curses to herself because of Kara’s constant concern and respect for her. She makes it so damn hard to hate her.

“I promised you once that I would always protect you.”

Lena’s heart aches at the memory.

“But over time, I became the threat to you. My honesty. My truth. I never wanted to hurt you like this, Lena. I chose keeping you in my life based on a lie, over losing you based on the truth. It was selfish. And for that - I am so sorry.”

Lena’s heart breaks. A tear rolls and she hates herself for allowing it. She keeps her back turned and wipes it without moving much, hoping Kara won’t see.  
  
“Lena, please. Please just - say something. Please just look at me.”

A long beat. Lena grits.

“I. Can’t.”

Now Kara’s heart breaks.

“I can’t because you’re her. She’s you. I don’t know how to reconcile that.”

Another beat. Lena feels like she’s losing her mind now.

“I mean…” she grabs the gun and finally turns -

“I could pull this trigger and watch the bullet bounce off right of your chest.”

Kara stiffens. She knows she’s joking, but she still raises a hand in warning -

“I would strongly prefer you didn’t.”

Lena shakes her head, almost laughing in irony again and her hand gestures in irritation.

“Please Kara, do you really think I’d -“

BOOM - it goes off without warning. Without intention. A mere drunken slip of the finger. And for a moment, Lena barely reacts, startled but unafraid -

Until she sees Kara’s taken a step back, and Lena briefly wonders why despite the startling echo that’s just silenced her ears.

And when her eyes trace down, Lena freezes at the sight.

Kara’s hand is at her upper abdomen, almost to her chest as she looks down at herself and the pool of blood expanding to soak her blouse, and then pouring through her fingers and dripping to the floor.

Lena’s mouth drops.

Kara falls and Lena rushes to her instinctively, catching her in her arms as the gun bounces to the floor beside them.

“Kara?! Wh -“

She’s shocked and confused. And more than that - she’s horrified, as Kara starts to choke on her own blood, and she just clutches her, pulls her in closer, desperately then after several excruciating moments of Lena being unsure what to say or do, afraid to move or speak - suddenly Kara goes limp and quiet and frighteningly still.

“KARA!!!” Lena SCREAMS.

——-

Stained hands tremble in front of her as she stares at faded carmine.

She knows exactly how she got here. Sitting in a hospital hallway, deep circles under empty eyes. Mouth dry as sand.

And she doesn’t know what to say to Alex when she demands to know what happened.

“I - I don’t… I don’t know.” she creaks out.

Tears well, and finally - Lena breaks.

“I don’t know…” she cries, face contorting and mouth agape.

——-

24 HOURS LATER

Kara lies in the bed bay at the DEO, hooked up to an IV and surrounded by yellow sun lamps, her body bandaged and covered by a thin blue sheet up to her chest.

Lena sits in the chair at her bedside.

Because she never left. She’s also not slept. Not bathed. Not eaten. She looks pale. They both do.

She just stares at her. At Kara. At Supergirl. At whatever combination of the two that this beautiful, caring, frustrating woman is that’s captured her heart and taken up permanent residence in her soul, despite herself. She doesn’t want to be here, but she can’t imagine being anywhere else. She hates her. But she also loves her.

Lena’s lips part in shock when Kara’s head suddenly moves and eyes slowly blink open. Lena jumps up. She turns to call Alex, but she hesitates - selfishly.

“Kara - “

Kara’s eyes register the sight of her.

“Lena…” she blinks again. “You shot me.”

She means to be funny, but for Lena this is no joking matter. She’s absolutely wrecked.

“I am so sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t know you’d -“

“Solar flared. S’what I call it when I lose my powers. From over exerting…”

Over exerting, Lena registered. She means saving lives. Like she’d saved hers so many times. There’s a deep pang in Lena’s heart, but it’s quickly replaced with a burning anger because yet again it was something else she didn’t know about her.

Kara notices, and knows.

She puts her hand on Lena’s as she leans against the table.

“It’s okay. It’s okay to be mad at me. I deserve it.”

Now tears come to Kara’s eyes, matching Lena’s.

“I’ve kept so much from you.”

Lena swallows. Regains composure.

“Yes. You have.”

She pulls her hand away, tucking it under folded arms. She sees Kara’s heart shatter at the movement. But Kara still finds a way to stay composed and focused.

“You didn’t kill me, Lena. I’ll heal soon. You don’t have to stay. And you don’t have to ever talk to me again. I won’t hold it against you.”

Lena just stares at her, as she continues -

“It was worth it, though. For you to know the truth. You deserved that much… after what I’ve done to you.”

Finally, Lena breaks - the hard frown on her face loosening.

She just shot Kara. And all Kara can talk about is what she’s done to her.

“Damn you, Kara Danvers. Why do you always have to be so selfless.”

“I’m not.” she replies, guilt-stricken.

“You are. Because you’re a hero.” Lena scoffs now, ironically. She knows can’t hate Kara for being a hero. Because then she really would be a Luthor.

She doesn’t know where they go from here, but she knows she needs time. So she turns and starts to walk away. But she stops, briefly. Turns back.

“Is Kara Danvers even your real name?”

“Kara Zor-El.”

Lena gasps slightly at the unwavering honesty. And the beauty of the name.

And then, despite herself - she steps back again, returning to a spot a little bit further from the door. A little bit closer to Kara. She shifts.

“When - when did you come to Earth?”

Kara hesitates. She can’t believe Lena’s asking another question. Can’t believe she hasn’t left yet.

“Um -“ she swallows, ready and willing to share whatever Lena wants to know.

“When I was thirteen. Just before Krypton was destroyed.”

A twinge of sympathy courses through Lena, as Kara continues -

“I was sent to protect Kal-El.” she quickly clarifies, “Superman.”

Off Lena, a look of confusion.

“It’s… complicated.”

Lena takes this in. Nods.

A long beat.

Finally, Lena actually steps closer again.

“Perhaps… you could tell me about it. When you have the time.”

Kara barely smiles, her heart warming and tears forming once again.

“I’m - not going anywhere for awhile.” she says, gesturing her hands as best she can to her bandaged body.

Lena can’t help but almost smile.

“No, I suppose you’re not.”

Kara half shrugs.

“Because you shot me.”

Lena’s lips finally curl and she smiles and lightly chuckles -

And then she sits back down.

END.


End file.
